sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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