carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
