You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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