I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
