I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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