i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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