used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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