no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
