yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
