I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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