i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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