i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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