Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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