i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm both gender and math confused
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
