Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
