I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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