Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
