You work out of a Hotel?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
