I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
