I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she looked like the before picture.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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