Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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