Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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