she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
