whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
