I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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