Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He kissed a someone with a penis
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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