ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't deserve a penis
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
This toilet bowl is my home.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
