maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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