I'm going to jail i love you
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
