First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
