He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You're a waste of cheezeits
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
