Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
