I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
