You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
