Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
