at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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