Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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