can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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