I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
