That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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