super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
