I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
