i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I touched a dick in church today
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
