im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
