My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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