in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
