Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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