5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
