I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I had to cum in my sink.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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