I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
