More tranny stories later!
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
cat food counts as protein by the way
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
